A Conversation about Sovereignty

God, eternal, omnipotent and sovereign:  you bastard, why am I alive?  Just so you’ve got a pin cushion, a punching bag to take your anger out on?  Look at all the crap you handed me.  I’d be better off having died a long time ago.  Actually, I think I would prefer have been aborted.

So, Roger, you’re blaming me for being born?  Don’t you think your parents had something to do with that?

Well, you gave me the no good sombitches that were my parents.  The old man runs out on me when I’m four and my mother might as well have been running a whorehouse with a revolving door with all the new “dad’s” around.  Why didn’t you give me a better set of parents?

Actually, they gave you life, I didn’t give them to you.

My wife was no winner, either.  The woman screams all day and wouldn’t ever give me any sex. I might as well be in an army camp.  Why did you give her to me?

If you recall, you are the one who chose her.  As well as chose to cheat on her so that she was angry all the time. And I think your three kids is enough proof that you got sex sometime.

Well, at least I know she didn’t open her legs to anyone—she hated sex.  But those kids.  Tommy won’t give me any respect.  Said “Ef you” and walked out the door.  I don’t care if he’s in his car, dead with a needle in his arm the way he treated me.

He learned to treat you the way you treated him.  You showed him no respect so he never learned any.

And Chelsea… damn.  That was the worst, you omniscient efing bastard. Why did she have to die?  Why didn’t you save her?  Why?  Why couldn’t it have been me?

I am sorry for you, Roger.  I know how much she meant to you. I could have saved her.  I could have reminded you to take her to the doctor so her lungs would have been checked and she wouldn’t have died of pneumonia. But you never asked me.  You never sought after me to come into your life. 

I accept your rant Roger.  I don’t see it as disrespect. Instead, I know that you are seeking me because your life is so screwed up.  I can help.  I will help.  Just sober up, cook yourself some breakfast and then go and see the pastor tomorrow morning.  Change for you is that close.